Thursday, February 26, 2009


This morning, as I drove into work, my path of travel had the distinct pleasure of being interrupted by one of Pennsyltucky's finest. At first, I was dismayed when the green Suburban pulled out of a side street and forced me to modulate my car's brakes faster than I prefer. But, in fairness, I was probably traveling above the speed limit, and I was further comforted when I realized I was actually being presented with an opportunity to expand my cultural acumen.

You see, the green Suburban had several insightful bumper stickers designed to convey a particular sentiment to which I do not usually subscribe. I was thankful for this occasion to step into the bucket seat of another man’s commute, and I hope to recreate the experience below.

First, the driver wanted to inform me of his choice in exhaust systems for his "whip," as if the deafening rumble that followed every acceleration was not enough:

Fair enough. He also displayed an inexhaustible love for his county:
This filled me with pride, especially when I realized my patriotic brother was ready to embrace our country's heritage as a melting pot - built upon not one ideal, but a constructed of the best ideas from many cultures:

Furthermore, he exhibited a respect and love in the better half of this county, the half that has provided us all with life first, but has nurtured us through to maturity:

Next he provided some sound advice, and aside from the poor choice of font (Comic Sans forces me to question the intelligence of anyone using it), I appreciated the sentiment; after all, isn't fish brain food?

He seemed very focused on providing every citizen with the oppotunity to be speak and be heard and understood. After all, isn't the founding tenet of the US Constitution the freedom to speak one's mind? If that is taken away, you may as well leave.

Up to this point, I was really digging my cultural immersion. I felt like I could attack the day with an expanded mind, ready to address issues old and new with a fresh outlook. Then I was left with a curve ball that will distract me for the next few moments:

While I think I understand the sentiment, I really can't be sure. You see, the underlining of "HER" combined with the unwieldy use of punctuation really seems to change the desired statement. If the expression read: "GET -R- DRUNK, THEN GET HER DONE." I think the message would be much more clear, if indeed that was the message the driver was trying to convey. Or perhaps he meant to say: "GET -R- DRUNK, THEN GET HER DONE."

At this point it is really speculation. Regardless, I was happy to have experienced a new point of view, and will seize the day in a new context.


zayne braun said...

come on man...

Git -r- dun

Anonymous said...

I was just reading your post getting completely outraged that the cop that pulled you over had such stickers on his bumper.

Then I re-read and smacked myself in the forehead.