Saturday, February 28, 2009

saturday ride report...

I rolled out of bed feeling good today. The sun was shining (momentarily) and the weather report looked [relatively] warm. Headed out on the road with one angry German, one C3 locust, and one mentally handicapped CZ. It was a fantastic ride despite my suck knob hitting a record 11.7. Here is a graphic that I can only hope will suffice as a ride report:

Thursday, February 26, 2009


This morning, as I drove into work, my path of travel had the distinct pleasure of being interrupted by one of Pennsyltucky's finest. At first, I was dismayed when the green Suburban pulled out of a side street and forced me to modulate my car's brakes faster than I prefer. But, in fairness, I was probably traveling above the speed limit, and I was further comforted when I realized I was actually being presented with an opportunity to expand my cultural acumen.

You see, the green Suburban had several insightful bumper stickers designed to convey a particular sentiment to which I do not usually subscribe. I was thankful for this occasion to step into the bucket seat of another man’s commute, and I hope to recreate the experience below.

First, the driver wanted to inform me of his choice in exhaust systems for his "whip," as if the deafening rumble that followed every acceleration was not enough:

Fair enough. He also displayed an inexhaustible love for his county:
This filled me with pride, especially when I realized my patriotic brother was ready to embrace our country's heritage as a melting pot - built upon not one ideal, but a constructed of the best ideas from many cultures:

Furthermore, he exhibited a respect and love in the better half of this county, the half that has provided us all with life first, but has nurtured us through to maturity:

Next he provided some sound advice, and aside from the poor choice of font (Comic Sans forces me to question the intelligence of anyone using it), I appreciated the sentiment; after all, isn't fish brain food?

He seemed very focused on providing every citizen with the oppotunity to be speak and be heard and understood. After all, isn't the founding tenet of the US Constitution the freedom to speak one's mind? If that is taken away, you may as well leave.

Up to this point, I was really digging my cultural immersion. I felt like I could attack the day with an expanded mind, ready to address issues old and new with a fresh outlook. Then I was left with a curve ball that will distract me for the next few moments:

While I think I understand the sentiment, I really can't be sure. You see, the underlining of "HER" combined with the unwieldy use of punctuation really seems to change the desired statement. If the expression read: "GET -R- DRUNK, THEN GET HER DONE." I think the message would be much more clear, if indeed that was the message the driver was trying to convey. Or perhaps he meant to say: "GET -R- DRUNK, THEN GET HER DONE."

At this point it is really speculation. Regardless, I was happy to have experienced a new point of view, and will seize the day in a new context.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Best Valentine's gift ever...

Seriously, I have the greatest friends in the world.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sunday, February 15, 2009

oh no...

Legs are feeling shredded after a day of telemarking in the Poc-Oh-No!s yesterday and 3 hours battling the wind today on the bike. Tough Cookie and I headed up to Shawnee Mountain yesterday for a little Pennsylvania shred.

Look at all the snow.

Unnecessary signage.

Insane: 700' of vertical gnar. 50" of snow a year.

Pocono wildlife, crack kills.

Telemark turns: invented in a small town in Norway. Sliding down on your ass: invented in Stroudsburg, PA.

The pizza-wedge swarm.

Tough Cookie demonstrates proper Poc-Oh-No! ski style.

The skiing was fun, if not terrifying. The prefered method of descent seemed to be straight down, modulating speed with a little pizza-wedge action. Stopping was achieved most often by ejection from skis and a superman down the slope.

Surviving alone would have made for a good day, a couple good left turns on my tele-skis made for a great day.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

the week in review...

It's been a whirlwind week, dear Reader. A trade show and presentation for work brought me down to the dirty souf. Three days and two nights in New Orleans was plenty for me; Bourbon St. being a ridiculous (sausage) party even on a Wednesday night. The only good thing about a walk down the street of sin was (a) the fact that Hustler has, at a minimum, three money making establishments (none of which I explored), and (b) these guys:

A quick acid test to see if a band on Bourbon St. is worth watching: (1) walk into bar, (2) stand around and watch band, (3) if bar employee hasn't forced you to buy a drink within 20 seconds, the band probably sucks. Here, I had a Warsteiner!

Returned to the Center of the Universe just in time for the weekend. The weather was fantastic, allowing for a 3-hour road ride with Faticus, Jan, Monkey, Rich, and Zach's boys - with Papa Smurf chasing us in his race car. Spent the last half of that ride taking turns with L-Web pushing the littlest guy up the hills - probably the best workout I've had on the bike this year. Between that and the trip to the climbing gym I built up a nice appetite for a few beer and this:

a proper bacon cheeseburger comes with 1/4 of an avocado.

Today, took the young'uns out for another long road ride. Another well-spent 3 hours, capped off with a meat and potatoes pizza at the Training Camp headquarters. While eating, I entertained myself by telling horrifying stories to the young up and comers about 5.25" floppy disks that could only hold 1/20th of an mp3. They honestly didn't believe they existed.

My productive afternoon was capped off with the most important part of this post:

$42 well spent.

I heard that Nugget Nectar had been released for this year, so I headed over to the Beer Church to grab a case. Only one tonight, these have to last.

so good.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


I just returned, dear Reader, from a fantastic trip west with Tough Cookie. I won't bore you with the details, as it was pretty much ski, eat, watch powder dump overnight, lather, rinse, repeat. Check out some pictures here:

For Superbowl Sunday, the Keg Breaker and his better half threw a party. I was less interested in football than the food and beer aspect, so I decided to come heavy to this shindig. What better way to show my love than the BACON EXPLOSION. Extremely delicious and highly recommended.

Step 1: Bacon weave.

Step 2: Andouille sausage on top.

Step 3: fry more bacon extra crispy.

Step 4: chop up the fried bacon and sprinkle on top of the sausage with some spicy BBQ rub.
Coat with BBQ sauce.

Step 5: roll sausage and fried bacon into a tight log.

Step 6: wrap bacon weave around meat log and sprinkle more BBQ rub on top.
Slow cook at 225 F for about 3 hours.

Step 7: slice.

Step 8: devour.

Step 9: wash down.