Tuesday, May 20, 2008

mystery suit...

Today, dear reader, marked an important milestone in my fledgling career as a sales and marketing applications engineer. I presented a summary of some of my work to more than 250 colleagues. While the presentation went smoothly and was seemingly well received, my performance was less intriguing than my attire during my soliloquy.

You see, I was excited to wear my mystery suit.

I should preface this by saying I am a man of simple and undiscriminating taste in clothing. I know what I like, it's usually simple, and I wear it with confidence - but I am far from guaranteeing style or good looks. This being said, I was excited to wear this new suit for the first time - especially for such a prestigious occasion. The suit is a charcoal with light grey pinstripes. A classic pattern in my opinion; ageless in its simplicity and elegance. It has a relatively slim cut, and fits my frame like a well-worn glove. This should come as no surprise - a suit should suit the man, so to speak.

The surprise is this: I have no idea from where this suit appeared.

As I was moving into my new digs about 2 months ago, Tough Cookie and my mother were helping me sort through my collection of rags. After determining about 30 percent of my attire should go to Goodwill, I stumbled upon the fine weaves mentioned above. The trouble was, I've only ever purchased one suit in my life, and it had already been hung up in the closet.

Perplexed, my cohorts in sorting insisted that I try it for fit. Much to my surprise (I have honestly never seen this suit before in my life) it hangs on my frame like a cougar on an unsuspecting frat boy. After a few spins in front of the mirror, I placed the pants and jacket back on the hanger and hung them in the closet.

The conjecture on this suit's appearance in my wardrobe began almost immediately. Was it left behind by a previous inhabitant of this house? Has it followed me from some earlier abode where I unsuspectingly added it to my collection from a closet? Maybe I stole it in a drunken stupor... A quick glance at the sewn-in tag of the right breast pocket gives what may be the best clue: "Englewood Colorado". Both of my brothers were born in Colorado... Maybe it was my Dad's suit and I somehow ended up with it. Thing is - my dad has less taste than I do, and this suit doesn't look 22 years old (to me at least - disclaimer).

I don't know where it came from, or how I got so lucky. But I do know the following: it works with my sweet new white belt, and it makes my ass pop.


Rosie said...

Those pants look good on your perfectly round behind.

Miss. Bea Havin said...

Dapper... do people still say that? It is fun, say it out loud.