Thursday, August 16, 2007

i don't care what george michael...

does in a men's room. The man was right when he said you gotta have faith.

I've always had a blind faith that things were going to work out the way they should. Call me stupid, or just a middle-class advantaged youth, but I'll call myself faithful. I'm not a particularly religious man - in fact I'd call myself an agnostic bordering on athiest, but I have faith that if something feels right it usually is.

My decision to go to the college I chose was a gut-decided choice, and with little research or thought I dove right in head first. It was a great decision: made great friends, great grades, great education, found climbing and bike racing, found a great job. I loved it. And it was all based on a couple visits to the campus which just felt like home.

My decision to move to Delaware for a job was also a gut choice. The company seemed solid. I didn't know anyone in the area. But hell, how bad could the mid-Atlantic be? Turns out I have a great job, I've fallen by shit luck into an amazing community of bike riders. I've made some friends I hope to know until the day I'm wearing dirt for a shirt.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this except that my thinking is you don't need to be religious to have faith. I attended a really good friend's wedding this past weekend. She is religious, and her faith in God and Christian rhetoric got me thinking.

It got me thinking that using religion as a crutch can be so damaging and limiting. This is not to say that I think it's bad to have belief in something greater than yourself. That is a personal choice and decision and I've seen it enrich other's lives. But counting on something intangible to keep life going for you is a sad mistake. In the end, it's in your hands to be happy, to find your way. To struggle and to search and learn and find what you love is what the whole cradle to grave road trip is about.

Belief in one's ability to intrinsically understand when something feels right is powerful enough. The truth is, there is beauty everywhere. People are good deep down, and there are good people everywhere.

I don't know what to expect in the next few years of my life aside from change. I don't know where I'm headed or who I'll meet. But I know things will change. Scenery will change. New friends will enter my life. Old friends will be pinpoints to put in a map. And I can't wait.

Soon I will have pictures from my trip to Colorado. Rad fucking times there in the West. More to come.


Jenn said...

amen brother

Suki said...

^ that reminded me:

so we're sitting at bon-fire.

someone says "amen, brother."

I say: oh, please. don't. my dad was a southern baptist minister...between all you bell wearing hippy mother fuckers jingling around here, the fire twirling and the "amen brother" I may feel the need to start speaking in tongues.

hippy: well, if you DO decide to start using those "tongues"...I've got a rattle snake for ya.