Sunday, July 15, 2007

sushi > pink "sushi"

How to make a shitty game rock: a Sharpie and some dirty words.

The premise of this game is this: one person is "it" and everyone else is challenged to choose "it's" favorite item from their hand of four cards with random items on them. "It" then ranks each card and points are assigned appropriately. The hands are then passed to the left and the person with no cards becomes "it".

Playing said game with FFAmy, Zayne Bronze, Chunky Monkey, Fatmarc, and Jan, we came to a group conclusion: this game sucks.

Of course, the brainpower in FZK is more than capable of making any situation fun and filthy, if given the chance. We decided that each turn, you could modify one of your cards as long as you left the original word intact. The end result: a bad ass game that went from "For Ages 8 to Adult" to "For Ages Adult to Pedophile". For those that want to play along at home, some of the tamer examples:

  • Super Bowl Sunday > Super Bowl Sunday Commercials
  • Thunderstorms > Thunderstorms and Long Walks on the Beach
  • Swimming Pools > Swimming Pools with Naked Chicks
and some of the awesome examples:

  • Ping Pong > Ping Pong with Your Balls
  • The World Series > The Bukkake World Series
  • Motels > Motels with Hookers
Needless to say, laughs are always good recovery from and preparation for bike racing.

Saturday, was the 2nd Annual Deep Blue Time Trial. A 12 mile out-and-back mostly flat road time trial that doubles as the Delaware State Time Trial Championships. I heard that Fatmarc and Zayne Bronze were going to be racing in the 2 Man Team Time Trial, Eddy Merckx style - no TT bikes, no disc wheels, no aero bars, all badass.

Five bucks to the first one who can match the nickname to the man: Zayne Bronze and Fatmarc.

Then I come to find out Jan and JZ are going to enter as well, with full TT regalia. Dan the Man and Blair Blair were also going to compete. Yeah, good luck to the rest of the 2 man teams. Ha. Anyway, I figured I should enter, and keep with my tradition of doing state TT championships on Ghetto Prom, the worlds shittiest fixed gear bike. Last time, I raced, and won the 2005 NY State TT Championship in the Retrogrouch category - read: sandbagged. This time I would race legit as a Cat. 4.

Jan and JZ - at least they looked fast.

Well, it was fun. I ended up with a decent time - averaged 23 mph spinning out - and was 6th out of 7 Cat 4s. But wait, how many DE state residents in the Cat 4 field? TWO. So eat that, I'm the DE State runner up for the Cat. 4 Time Trial.

According to Velonews: TT Helmets can shave 30 seconds off of a 40k TT.

It was awesome to see the two man teams rock out. Fatmarc (with a little help from Lefty - Kevin's a pussy) and Zayne (with a little help from his Bronze) kicked ass and averaged something like 28 mph. It wasn't quite enough to take the silver from JZ and Jan, but no one held a candle to Dan T. Man and Blair Blair - who had both raced the Cat 1/2 solo earlier and won with a commanding 31 mph average speed.

Blair Blair and Dan T. Man reek of speed.

All in all, a lot of fun and a good warmup for Fair Hill XC, which went down today.

Not shown: Fitzy - who had a good race Merckx style, and Chunky Monkey - photographer and support extraordinare.

I raced Sport Singlespeed open. Got into the singletrack in 5th wheel, out of a pretty large field. Two guys went hard hard hard off the front, and I just sucked wheel on the two guys in front of me. We were working through the Sport Senior carnage traffic when they got around a slower guy and I got jammed up behind him.

"Ah biker. I'm such an idiot."

At this point I decide to settle in, get the old heart rate down, and ride my own race. No other SSer ever got close to me and made me work any harder than I wanted to, and I ended up catching and dropping the two guys who exploded off the line on Crackhead Bob - which was about 2/3rds of the way through the course. They really killed themselves in the start I guess. I never did see the other two guys again, so I finished 3rd.

Not bad for my second ever XC race - though I gotta say, I really do like the endurance events a lot more. I'll refer you to the MASS website for full results, I can't remember the specifics, but the FZK did well as usual. Now I am looking forward to next weekend - some track racing at T-Town with iPaul(c).

1 comment:

Suki said...

I have a sinking suspicion you'd take honorable mention at any ree fest.

*drools*