Thursday, March 08, 2007


One of the constants in my life, one thing I can rely on day-in, day-out is my daily 9 am meeting in the tiled office stall. At 8:45 am, I can feel the system begin to percolate. As the 9 o'clock hour approaches, the brew is almost complete, and I head down the hall. Past the "WOMEN" placard, through the swinging wooden door, past the one urinal, and into the first of 2 bathroom stalls.

This center location is key, because the second spot is more popular, most likely due to it's more "private" feel. After all it is in the corner. So why abandon the slight increase in privacy? Well at 9 am, no one has yet used the center stall. The water remains blue from the prior night's cleaning. The seat is down, sparkling and reflective; it awaits my cheeks. It is my throne. I feel like it was shined for me and me alone.

This constancy is vital in my daily sanity. I feel healthy, cleansed. I am allowed a quiet moment to reflect. I am the king of the porcelain.

Two things really tend to jam up the works and prevent me from ruling over my kingdom of tile and grout. One is dining out. Restaurant foods and especially the portions really take their toll on my ritual. The second is travel. The constant sitting, changes in time zone, sporadic cups of coffee and dehydration from lack of water, even more dining out at various restaurants... they all come together to form a cork in the bottle of life.

Well guess what, the last 2 weeks have been a storm of fine dining at various local establishments, not so fine air travel dining, and a trip to Scotland - obviously known for it's stellar cuisine. Suffice it to say, my return to work on Friday left me feeling like less than a king.

Now, I have enough experience in these matters to know how important it is to get back on track fast. So Sunday I went to the grocer, and picked up supplies to rally the troops. Kashi Go Lean! Crunch for one, and the makings for my famous spicy beans and rice glop for two. Literally for 2. I cooked up a batch of beans'n'rice and set to work. This would also be my lunch for the next few days.

Monday morning, Kashi. I don't know if you've had the delight that is Go Lean! Crunch, but it turns your insides into a bubbling primordial fart factory. That, combined with the beans'n'rice, left my office somewhat of a gas chamber through Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday I had a 5 bean soup for lunch that only added to the aroma. I tried my usual method of "cropdusting," a surefire way to spread your stink so thin that it can't be pinned on you, but the volume was just too much. I just had to try to bury them in my desk chair. I'm surprised the wallpaper hasn't peeled off.

Needless to say I'm back in command of my kingdom. Master of my domain. Vive la Center Stall.

Short ride with His Fatness tonight at Rittenhouse. About an hour on the bike, the trails weren't super fun by any means, but it was nice to ride in good company. I'm looking forward to the century on Saturday. Though all these road miles have been killing my trail skills. I was riding with a vice grip on my handlebars tonight.

1 comment:

airing out said...

um... I thought of you this morning when my internal timeclock didn't spring forward and I had to do my business at the office. eeew.