my story to be the typical one. I never wanted to be a corporate whore. I never wanted to be a yuppie - selfish, insular, uncaring about the world around me. I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to be remembered, even if it was just by one person for one small act of selflessness that made a positive change in this world.
At times recently, I have felt like an unbelievable sell-out.
I am working a typical job: typical hours, typical ass kissing, typical work. I make a lot of money. I spend a lot of money. Almost all of it is on myself. I am not contributing to the world around me in any significant way. I ride my bike, I climb, I drink beer, I talk politics without taking any real action. I hang out with my friends. I have a fucking car payment. I travel and ski and race.
I love the things I do with my life. They are fun, and I really appreciate my friends, be they old or new, local or distant, I don't waste my time with people I don't truly love. However, I'm not working actively to make the world a more fair, more just, all around better place.
My ideals in college kept me from working for a lot of companies, because I did not want to design things that would kill people, or harm the environment. I have a good job, but it too is not helping our species evolve in a progressive manner. I miss the work I did helping get the Troy Bike Rescue off the ground and supporting its growth.
My only hope is that my job will allow me to do the following: pay off college loans which weigh heavily on me. It will give me the experience I need to function at a higher level in the future. It will give me freedom (at least somewhat) financially to do something larger with my life.
I don't need to be a hero, or a martyr, or a saint. But I've had it so good in so many ways. I want to give more of my neighbors on this planet the same opportunity.
I'm jealous of my r4L Cerissa, who has thrown caution to the wind and joined Americorps. Maybe I will start locally: Urban Bike Project.